Cake detox

Nedenstående digt er inspireret af dette og min igangværende cake detox (kageafvænningskur).

Wienerbrød

jeg er en dagmartærte, med blandet glasur
jeg er en wienerkringle, med nøddeflager
jeg er en spandauer, med creme
jeg er en chokoladebolle, med fastelavn
jeg er en onsdagssnegl, med kvalme
jeg er en napoleonshat, med klap
jeg er en overskåren, med itu
jeg er en berliner, med hindbærsyltetøj

~ Pia – på vej til rehab.

Strøtankestreger

- endnu en super god idé
er fyr og flamme
skriver og skriver
for mere end ét godt ord
i morgen er jeg mig selv igen
og hælder asken ud -

Ny anmeldelse på MetrOrd

Jeg har været så heldig at få hele to anmeldelser af “Tilnærmelsesvis fraværende” på MetrOrd. Den nyeste er skrevet af Poul G. Exner. Læs den her.

Interview

Nu kunne man godt forledes til at tro, at et eller andet stort internationalt magazine har opdaget lille mig og bedt om et interview, meeen …. neeej, det er nu bare alle tiders tidsfordrivs-overspringshandlings-site (Facebook), der har kastet et genereret interview efter mig. Så her kommer det, bare for sjov, i nærmest uredigeret udgave:

 

How tall are you?

170 cm

 

Weight?

None of your business!

 

What do you do on Fridays?

Eat cream cake!

 

Favourite beer?

Old speckled hen.

 

If you could have one super human power what would you choose?

Be able to teleport.

 

Do you read Harry Potter books?

No, but I love the films.

 

What is your travel dream?

Across the States in a motor home.

Or New Zealand.

 

What is your favourite food?

Any food my husband cooks.

 

Boat or bus?

Bus! I get seasick faster than I get carsick.

 

Favourite alcoholic drink?

Sommersby apple cider.

 

Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?

Spare change.

 

Kill the spider or let it out?

Depends on size … Big ones kill, little ones set free.

 

Favorite tv-show?

That ’70s show.

 

Do you have any children?

Yes, two sons.

 

Would you rather be blind or deaf?

Deaf.

 

Are you a cat or a dog person?

Cat.

 

Favourite fruit?

Pineapple.

 

If you had to pick one car, which would it be?

A Hummer or a Chrystler.

 

What is your favourite clothing brand?

I don’t give a damn what I wear as long as it looks good on me.

 

Favourite place to eat?

At home.

 

Opera, musical, concert, play, performance or other?

Concert.

 

Water or 100% juice?

Water.

 

What size shoe do you wear?

Shoes size 37, boots size 38.

 

Do you have any tattoos, and if so what and where?

No.

 

Who do you admire most?

Peope who try to make a difference in society either political or scientifical or through art.

 

Do you have any pets, and if so what do you have?

A cat.

 

Are you an outdoor or an indoor person?

Both.

 

If you could time travel to the past to correct any mistakes you feel you’ve made would you?

YES!

 

Have you ever been married?

Yes, I’m married for the second time now.

 

If you won the lottery, how would you spend your millions?

Buy a house and hire a maid, donate some, invest some and travel a lot.

 

If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be?

A cheetah.

 

If you have friends coming for supper what would you cook?

I wouldn’t cook, I’m terrible at it. I would ask my husband to cook, he is a great cook.

 

If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be?

Einstein. Or Neil Armstrong on the 20^th of July 1969.

 

Chocolate or cake?

Both!

 

If you could be successful at any job in the world, what would that job be?

Writer. Or maybe an astronomer.

 

Describe your perfect Sunday morning?

Breakfast with my family.

 

Aliens have landed and selected you to visit their home planet. Do you go wiyh them?

Yes, if I can bring my family.

 

Do you plan in advance?

Yes, I have to plan almost anything, it’s a personality thing – and also necessary because of my illness.

 

Left handed or right handed?

Right handed.

 

Which religion do you choose to follow?

I don’t believe in religion. I do believe in God though.

 

City or the suburbs?

The suburbs.

 

Favourite hot drink?

Coffee or hot chocolate with whipped cream.

 

Sour or sweet candy?

Both.

 

What is your favourite sport?

I don’t like sports at all.

 

Desktop or laptop?

Laptop.

 

What language would you like to speak fluently?

German, French and Spanish.

 

Favourite music genre?

Rock.

 

Favourite rapper?

I don’t like rap. Eminem is okay though.

 

If you could time travel, what would be your first stop?

The future,like AD 3000.

 

Coke or Pepsi?

Pepsi (Twist).

 

What colour are your eyes?

Blue.

 

Favourite flower?

Freesia and sweet William.

 

Rolling Stones or The Beatles?

The Beatles.

 

What is your natural hair colour?

It has changed all my life. At the moment it’s sandy – with a little grey.

 

If you were one of the seven dwarfs, who would you be?

Sleepy.

 

Winter or summer?

Summer.

 

What kind of car do you drive?

Opel Corsa.

 

Do you like thunderstorms?

Yes, but I prefer to be indoors during.

 

Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes.

 

Do you like to bake/cook?

NO!

 

Favourite perfume?

Lovely be Sarah Jessica Parker and J’Adore by Christian Dior.

 

What is the meaning of life?

42!

 

Star Wars or Star Trek?

Star Wars! Star Trek sucks!

 

Where were you born?

Holbæk.

 

McDonalds or Burger King?

Burger King.

 

Would you rather be an elf, dwarf or hobbit?

An elf.

 

Do you like Americans?

The ones I know, yes.

 

Mozart or Salieri?

Mozart!

 

What is your favourite movie quote?

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it”. – Matthew Broderick in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”.

 

Do you sing in the shower?

Sometimes.

 

Jack Sparrow or Jack Bauer?

Jack Sparrow.

 

Favourite movie?

Depends on genre.

 

Favourite singer?

My husband.

 

If you fell off a cliff what would be your last thought?

“I should have brought my paraglider”.

 

 

Mandsmod – og andre noveller

Den 15. juni udkommer novellesamlingen “Mandsmod – og andre noveller” på Forlaget Darklights.
Bogens 12 noveller er udvalgt blandt de mange indsendte bidrag til forlagets novellekonkurrence. Vindernovellen, der også lægger titel til bogen, er skrevet af Helene Mary Munthesen. De 11 andre noveller er skrevet af M. Pontoppidan, Morten Nis Klenø, Laila Ammitsbøl, Martin Hjortlund Nohns, Nikolaj Højberg, Pia Leth Jensen, Ole Nybo Petersen, David Bekker-Jensen, Sara Buch, Lho Brockhoff og Pia Valentin Lorentzen (mig selv, sagde hunden).
Yderligere info på Forlaget Darklights.

Anmeldelse på MetrOrd

Poul Høllund Jensen har anmeldt “Tilnærmelsesvis fraværende” på MetrOrd. Læs anmeldelsen her.